Living with a woman ain't an easy task, especially when it's your first time doing so. There can be lots of good sex, nice cuddles, deep conversations, but also lots of conflicts, dirty dishes, and painful emotions.
So far I lived with three women (one currently), these women I dated long-term, and each living situation was different, but simultaneously very similar. So here is more about that...
The first was little squirrelly, let’s just call her that. She was cute, petite, with a nice booty, but man was she feisty. She would turn everything into a drama. We met in California, at the time she was working at a Bubble tea place, which I frequented regularly with my 40-year-old homie, who drove around in a broken-up green Toyota, but let’s not get into that. This 40-year-old got me her number, using his smooth talk and saying something along the lines of “Kamil here, needs someone to show him around, maybe you could help him?”. Somehow it worked, and we ended up texting, dating, and had a good go at a relationship. She lived with me for a few months, back in my shitty studio apartment on the East side of Chicago.
Then we have quirky kitty, sorry for these names, I’m sort of coming up with these on the fly. She was a Hungarian cutie, whom I met while exploring the streets of Budapest. She was sitting on a bench drawing something, I got curious and sparked up a conversation with her. This led to a relationship, which lasted for over a year. I lived with her and her coo-coo dad (who is a friend until this day) for a few months; an experience which was full of chaos, deep emotions, and eye-opening moments.
The third, is currently unfolding. There was no relationship initially, it was just adventure and sex, but as things go, it’s slowly turning into a relationship. We’ve been living together for the past 6 months now. I also met this girl on the street, she was walking barefooted; which I do myself sometimes, so I stopped her and we had an exchange. And that, ladies and gentlemen, lead to us traveling together, having some amazing sex, and now this whole situation we’re in. No surprise…
As you see, I do have a bit of experience when it comes to living with women.
Living with a woman is different than seeing her occasionally, the dynamic changes completely. There are these things called emotions, which start to envelop the both of you as you spend more time around each other, until they envelop you so deep, you become inseparable. Of course, there are different stages of a relationship, but when you live together it’s like they all merge into one thing! And that’s most likely because the time you spend together increases times ten.
When you're living with a woman, some of the most common issues are:
No alone time
"trying" to compromise
No quality relationship time
When all your time is spent around another person, where does your alone time go? Into the dumpster. And not only that, no alone time leads to no personal space, which can lead to confusion, frustration, and even depression. For some people, they like not having alone time, or personal space, they like to be occupied by people and have their day be filled with things to do. But for others, it’s the opposite. If you’re the introverted type, like myself, alone time and personal space are crucial. And even for those that are the other way around, the effects of not being able to reflect or having a moment for yourself can be damaging in the long run. I lived with a housemate once, a woman, all the time she’d have people over, I'd rarely see her alone reading, or just relaxing. And she’d complain all the time about how “I don’t have time for myself”, she was extroverted, and her inability to turn this off was making her go mad.
Trying to compromise is also a skill which will need to be learned and developed. There will be countless situations where one person disagrees about how something should be done, this can turn into an argument, a fight, and bitter emotions. Disagreements can start from small things like leaving your dirty socks on the floor, or not washing your dishes, to having shitty sex, or not spending quality time with one another. You will need to learn how to compromise, so that way both the participants are satisfied.
And this leads to the big one, which is quality relationship time. And you might be questioning this because you think that since you’re living together, you’re already spending quality time… WRONG. Spending so much time together actually lessens the quality of that time, because of habituation. You forget to be romantic, you forget to have date nights - because every night is date night, you forget to do fun things together. And that’s not all. The worse thing, is that your sex becomes routinized and boring. You f*ck her the same every time, you don’t try anything new, you cum and then you sleep. That’s a sign of a relationship going to sh*t.
So. How can we do something about this?
Here are a few tips which have made a difference in my life when it came to living with a woman:
1. Have goals and aims.
A woman should never be your center of focus. A man should have goals which he’s trying to achieve, and he should not stop trying to achieve his goals for a woman. Once he stops, he loses his power. If a woman can easily divert your attention from your goals, that shows her you have no discipline, nor inner strength. Women get bored of these types of men, men who chase, are easily distracted, and passive about their life. Therefore make sure to work on projects, visit friends, do stuff away from your woman; have a life of your own, and let her do the same.
2. Give the woman her own space.
Woman want their own space. They might have their studies, they might have their work, they might be occupied with friends or family matters, they don't want someone who follows them around and never gives them any space. This differs depending on the type of woman you're dating, if she is needy and emotionally unstable, it’s not a good idea to give her all your attention because she will use you like an old man uses a cane. The best is to have balance, spend time with her, but also give her some personal space so that she can do her own things.
3. Have dedicated time for the both of you.
A good thing to have in mind is that this is a team effort, and this doesn't apply just to the relationship, but also common goals, ambitions, and that sort of stuff. When it comes to the relationship though, you should go out regularly, take her out dancing, take her to the movie theatre, do stuff that can be fun for the both of you, and do it regularly. And when it comes to your goals and ambitions, it’s better to be with a person who is as ambitious as you are; this also applies to friends.
4. Great sex!
Without great sex, the relationship won’t have that fire, and that fire is important to keep things hot. Remember the first time you f*cked? Wasn’t that exciting!? I’m hell sure it was! What most couples do while living together, they start to make sex into a routine. The intensity lessens, the duration shortens, and then it ends up being a quick five-minute thing that happens every night before bed. WHATTT!? C'mon. The best advice I have is to space it out, have sex once or twice a week. Try different positions, try breathing techniques. It’s also good to set some sex goals, maybe keep them to yourself, but these could be, “I’m going to give her an orgasm before I penetrate her”, “I will tie her up and spank her”, or even “I will f*ck her over the kitchen table today", etc. Also make sure to talk about what she feels comfortable with, because maybe she doesn’t like being tied up or spanked, maybe she likes other kinky stuff.
That is my advice on how to have a more fulfilling relationship while living with a woman.
If you have any questions, please leave a comment below, or PM me and we can chat, thanks!