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Addicted to Pornography

Recently the realisation of my addiction to sex has come forth. I tried to ignore it at first, but I really can't no more. It's been an obstruction to many joyful moments in my life, and the catalyst to much anxiety. I get triggered by something and all the sudden I got my cock in my hands and porn on the laptop screen. It's disgusting I know, but that's what has been happening, so I cannot make it less foul.

The fact that I masturbate is not disgusting, it's just that fact that I'm watching other people have sex and then masturbating to that. And for some, I'm sure, this realisation does not occur, "it's just a screen, it's not real", but your subconscious can't tell the difference. Whether you're sitting in the park and fapping away to girls in skirts on a beautiful summer day, or whether you're sitting in your room and fapping away to girls in skirts on a beautiful summer day, it does not matter. The fact is, you're fapping to people you don't know and it needs to stop.

Back to me.

It's been just a little over 10 years since I first started watching porn, and half the years have been in effort of trying to understand and stop the addiction. In the recent years I've gained leverage over this addiction, but at times it still comes back around and pulls me down, back into the black hole of Pornography.

A week ago I finally admitted to myself that I'm an addict, a 'sex addict', and that I need to get into some sort of detox program. I've been trying to do it all by myself for the longest time, but I can't break the chains on my own. I've shared this with my GF, and she is very supportive, I will also share it with one of my friends soon. I've also gotten my hands on the SAA book (Sex Addicts Anonymous). And lastly I've been journaling down all trigger instances. So far so good. Last time I watched porn was two days ago.

If you're going through a similar experience, then please comment below and let me know, let fight this thing together.

Share why you want to rid of this addiction in your life. And I encourage you to share this with someone close to you, so that they can be of support - let me know who it will be!


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